Background & Context

For those of you college basketball diehards trapped under a rock for the past 24 hours, last night marked the opening chapter of the 2016 Duke/UNC matchup.  While most of you probably have no dog in this fight, a portion of the country lives and dies twice a year with the outcome of this game.  Therefore, I felt it necessary to pull back the curtain and show the masses what it's like to be irrationally devoted to one side of this rivalry.  The following is a [biased] transcript between two Duke faithful, detailing the events that transpired last night at the Dean Dome.

To give some quick background, I am a 25 year old Indiana alumni, but lifelong Duke fan.  For those of you outraged by that discrepancy, the picture below is concrete evidence that I was brainwashed at a young age, with no hope of ever becoming attached to another program (thanks dad!):

 

While I may have been called a douche a few times over the years for a multitude of reasons, being a devoted Devil supporter is probably my most douche-y quality.  An example of me in my finest form was at the 2010 Final Four in Indy.  My family and I were grabbing a late lunch on Saturday, prior to the semifinal games.  As we paid and proceeded to leave, I couldn't help but notice a 6'6 guy on the other side of the restaurant sitting at the head of his [extremely loud & obnoxious] table.  I knew I recognized him, but I couldn't for the life of me think of who it was...

But when I noticed he was proudly wearing a glaringly barbaric "Affliction" t-shirt, all bets were officially off. Yup, you know exactly who I'm talking about...  Greivis Vasquez....

Naturally, I invaded his family's meal and demanded a picture immediately.  This was taken directly before I punched him in the nuts:

 

The point of that tale is that I love Duke and hate those who hate Duke.  Greivis Vasquez epitomizes that second group of people.

So now that all UNC fans have officially stopped reading (though I'm not sure why they would be reading in the first place), lets get on to the transcript.  Below is a timestamped dialogue between myself & Mitchell Harrison throughout the two glorious hours of last night's showdown.  Like myself, Mitch is an IU alum, but a devoted Devil.

 

Full Game Transcript

 

8:04 P.M:  I am running late from a rec basketball game that started at 7.  My squad picked up its first loss of the year, dropping to 2nd place in the Chicago Sports Social recreational division.  After cutting it to 1 with 5 minutes to go, we surrendered a casual 19-2 run to close out the game (yikes).  

Mitch obviously kicks off our chatter with a gambling-related comment. In hindsight, his top 3 concerns are also laughably on-point.  You can also notice the pre-game confidence just oozing out of us:

Mitch Harrison

word is that the inflow pushed the line to 8.5

Matt Cox

Good, more value for me now

Mitch Harrison

My number 1 concern is foul trouble

Number 2 is rebounding

Number 3 is a lazy ass zone

Matt Cox

Number 4 are those unc warmups

You think we open zone ?

Mitch Harrison

I really don't know 

Mitch Harrison

I can't imagine K wants to see B in the post vs brice  

Matt Cox

I'd like a little 1-3-1 out of the gate  

Mitch Harrison

Need Marshall's brain to be on in a big way out of the gate

my expectations are low

making that clear before tip

 

Full Disclosure:  I did not wager on this game :(

 

8:13 P.M:  Brice Johnson now has 3 tip-slams in the first 6 minutes of play.  Our defensive rebounding nightmares have officially become a reality.  I blame Brandon Ingram early.  You'll see 20 and 10 in his box score, but 99% of that production came in the second half...

Matt Cox

brandon snoozing in the biggest game of the year

brandon, please engage one time on the glass

 

 

Mitch Harrison

we can't block out both brice and justin

our guards aren't used to defending anyone that active on the glass

 

Matt Cox

yup, brice is gonna get his ... we cant let jackson eat us on the o glass too

f*** you brice

B again! watching!

got lucky on that board

 

8:24 P.M:  Two subplots begin to emerge, both of which completely negate each other throughout the course of the game >>> 1) Luke Kennard cooks 2) Derryck Thornton doesn't

We also go on a mini-tangent comparing Luke to Grayson Allen.  Most of you will find this erroneous...

Matt Cox

im already annoyed with derryck

Mitch Harrison

yeah he just doesn't know how to avoid the block

Matt Cox

pretty luke

Mitch Harrison

eat luke 

Matt Cox

cool hand luke 

Mitch Harrison

his ceiling is arguably higher than grayson as a scorer

is that too bold? 

Matt Cox

yes ... not absurdly bold though

HOT HAND LUKE 

Mitch Harrison

I think it's the footwork and shot fake utilization that convince me

grayson is just head down and get it

luke has like 5 countermoves in his pocket already

Matt Cox

yea yea fair ... plus i think hel eventually be an elite catch and shoot off-screen guy, where gray is more of a spot shooter  

Mitch Harrison

yep. luke will never catch gray on rim finishes or dunks... but off screens and using dribble counters he can be scary

I hope we see him in the JJ role at some point

also back to this game... I'm okay with Luke over matt all game long

 

8:35 P.M:  Playing Luke over Matt soon becomes a trivial decision, after Matt throws up a 12-foot running hook over Brice Johnson (shockingly, it did not go in), and rolls his ankle in the process...

Mitch Harrison

really matt? 

Matt Cox

matt stop  

Mitch Harrison

f***.

Matt Cox

yikes

holy yikes

soooo if matt is done ... 

Mitch Harrison

twitter says ankle

we're done

we have 3 guards 

Matt Cox

a little obi at 3?

luke gonna play the last 30?

amile bring his kicks?

mother f*** 

Mitch Harrison

yeah luke/derryck/gray have to go for the last 30 

Mitch Harrison

there's not a single other body

only way to rest is to go big with marsh/chase/B

yeah he's done

officially team #redshirtamile

 

8:38 P.M:  Luke Skywalker distracts us from the reality that 5 competent players will be playing the rest of the way.  No idea at this point how Duke is within 20 ...

Mitch Harrison

carry us Luke 

Matt Cox

luke, just get 40 

Mitch Harrison

you all we got 

Matt Cox

literally

Matt Cox

were down 1 right now btw  

Mitch Harrison

yeah shhh  

Matt Cox

semi-laughable  

Matt Cox

this reminds me of the rivers game from 2012

 

8:55 P.M:  The first half winds down, and Duke has an IDEAL opportunity for a 2 for 1 in the final minute.  The 2 for 1 phenomenon deserves its own analysis, but its disappearance from college basketball is inexplicable ...

Matt Cox

2 for 1!

go!

now! 

Matt Cox

too late now

hey B f***ing finish man 

Mitch Harrison

ha

2 for 1 

Matt Cox

was it banned by the ncaa?

 

It's a miracle the Devils are only down 4 at the break...

 

9:15 P.M: The 2nd half begins and Ingram trots out noticeably sluggish.  In hindsight, playing all 20 minutes in the first half may have been a factor.  He misses on 2 straight possessions and turns it over on the third.  Danger zone approaches...

Matt Cox

brandon smoke at half?

he is so slow right now

were overforcing that iso

need to mix it up a little ... or B needs to look to kick

Mitch Harrison

he's back to thinking instead of playing  

looks like UK version B

Mitch Harrison

any time you want to join us B

Matt Cox

danger zone ... good TO K

 

9:23 P.M: Anddddd the Derryck Thornton slander settles in nicely about 8 minutes into the 2nd half...

Mitch Harrison

DERRYCK

F***

YOU  

Matt Cox

derryck has been awful  

Mitch Harrison

literaly just asks to be blocked  

Matt Cox

no worries, roy wastin his best perimeter defender on him

f*** off derryck

provide any sort of value  

Mitch Harrison

derryck such an offensive weak link

 

9:27 P.M: Mitch points out an absurd stat, that I doubt any other college team can top this year (I encourage you to fact check this for another example): 0 SUBSTITUTIONS FOR OVER 15 MINUTES OF PLAY!  That can't be a huge confidence boost to Chase Jeter, the 6'10 McDonalds All-American, who watches K play the same 5 dudes play [completely gassed] over him...

Mitch Harrison

we haven't subbed since the 7:43 mark fyi

single digit loss is a miracle at this point

a win would be top 3 degree of difficulty win in the history of this rivalry

and I don't think that's a bold statement

 

9:40 P.M: A little more commentary on our pal Derryck Thornton... Another episode of his tomfoolery leads to UNC's largest lead of the game late in the second half

Matt Cox

derryck go home  

Mitch Harrison

derryck is toast

won't make another jumper

mentally gone

Matt Cox

f*** off derryck  

Mitch Harrison

derryck is clueless

f***ing clueless

we have 3 offensive studs   and he's iso'ing vs 3 guys  

Matt Cox

can someone yell at that child

i keep forgetting he's 17, but half way in to the year in a game of this magnitude... its inexcusable

 

9:50: Brandon Ingram officially arrives at the Dean Dome almost two hours late for tip-off... But oh does he ever arrive...

 

Matt Cox

f*** yes B

Mitch Harrison

TAKE THE F*** OVER

Matt Cox

im now hype

am i being teased?

Mitch Harrison

this team man.  

Matt Cox

absurdly likeable

and becoming more likeable by the possession  

Mitch Harrison

I dare them to let us have a lead

watch them get tight as hell

Mitch Harrison

is it possible to just relax and be content with this showing?  

Matt Cox

no it isnt

Mitch Harrison

are we physically capable of that?

Matt Cox

not at this point  

Mitch Harrison

damn it I didn't think so  

Matt Cox

were about to have ball with chance to tie ... im chuckling...

Mitch Harrison

tight buttholes in white

 

9:59: Those buttholes just kept getting tighter... After two Grayson Allen throws with a minute to play, the Devils claimed their first second half lead ... 

Mitch Harrison

ONE F***ING STOP

WE'LL HIT THROWS  

Matt Cox

TWO****

im standing

PROTECT!!!

omg one bucket  

Mitch Harrison

standingg  

Matt Cox

f***

awful

f***

f***

wait we're fineeeeeeeee

I think? 

no TO ROY?!??!

no TO?!?!?!

roy?!?!?!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHA'

F*** YES  

 

Mitch Harrison

literal shock

i'm shaking

 

Matt Cox

i just let out a few courtesy yells in my room mirror

look at B  

Mitch Harrison

what just happened  

Matt Cox

hahahah

holy hell this awesome

 

Mitch Harrison

I need historical perspective  

Matt Cox

austin rivers 2012?

this may be better

 

Mitch Harrison

like degree of difficulty higher than anything I think I've seen in my life of this rivalry  

Matt Cox

we played with 4 players

derryck didnt even qualify as a half a player  

Mitch Harrison

who got that stop at the end by the way

but otherwise yes

 

Matt Cox

no clue he did that

i blacked out

 

10:10 P.M:  Seth Greenberg on the post game show defends Roy Williams for not calling timeout...

Mitch Harrison

of course you disagree with the TO need Seth you were an awful coach

can we raise Duke funds to give Roy a lifetime extension?

 

Stay tuned for the round 2 transcript on the rematch in Cameron ... It should be equally biased as this dialogue ...